I took a month off writing because my brain was overloaded.
Loaded with future plans, career moves, and the fear of losing time. I was constantly worrying about the what-ifs and trying to think of ten thousand ways to make things right. Eventually, my brain became so overloaded that I burned out. I constantly felt like I was running on low battery, no matter how much I slept.
Instead of trying to control and worry about everything, I decided to pack all those thoughts into a box and try to be present for a day.
Whenever I caught myself thinking about my future or my next move, I would bring myself back to whatever I was doing in that moment.
I am a barista at a café at the moment. My daily tasks are pulling espresso shots, making beverages, and talking to customers. Sometimes I would think about my next move while making a drink, or think about my future while talking to a customer. I would zone out easily, even while doing something.
So now, I remind myself to focus on the task in front of me.
Smell the coffee when I grind the beans. Pay attention to the sound of the espresso machine. Notice the drink I am making. Listen to the customer in front of me. And I realized I am much more relaxed when I do this. I enjoy the day more. I am more present with everything I do. I laugh at silly things. I interact more with customers. It is like my mind suddenly became quieter instead of constantly scrambling to figure everything out.
It has only been a few days, but even a few hours of being present has given me a little break from all the worries I have been carrying around in my head. I guess being present isn’t about shutting off your thoughts. It is more about noticing when you’ve left the moment, and gently returning to it.